Thainess-Greng Jai

Posted on December 3, 2010 by Mike

Loy Krathong Float Chao Phraya River Bangkok

Taking  a look at the latest contribution from author/journalist Andrew Biggs to the “sanook” column in today’s Bangkok Post I really had to smile  In the article Andrew takes a look at that certain Thainess known as “greng jai,” which he describes as as having a consideration for the feeling of others.

“They(Thais) have greng jai, and we don’t. Or so they say.

Greng jai is a feeling of not wanting to put another person out, or hurt another person’s feelings. I mean, it’s a feeling of consideration for others.

It’s a feeling of wanting to make the other person feel good. It’s, it’s …”

But of course “greng jai” is a lot more than that, as Andrew admits its part of the Thai culture, perhaps influenced by Buddhism, something difficult to explain in English and even harder to understand for a foreigner no matter how long you have lived in Thailand.

Now when I first lived here I’d never heard of greng jai but slowly it dawned on me that in Thailand you certainly can’t always take things at face value. Classically, I could never quite understand why folks said they would come to a party for example but wouldn’t show. I always assumed they didn’t really like foreigners etc.

Well  time has moved on, I live with a Thai lady and yes I can now usually spot a  bit of greng jai(which I of course ignore-good greng jai). In fact I had a really good example of greng jai in action on my recent trip to Bangkok, late one evening and still not booked into my hotel my guide seemed intent on making sure I was the last one to be dropped off  from the several folk sharing my mini van.We even went back down a crowded Sukhumvit to retrieve a friends shopping inadvertently left at the restaurant we had eaten at. Then we stopped again for someone else to buy a T-shirt!

Finally a bit grumpy, in need of a shower and bed I broached the subject with my Thai guide, also mentioning that a colleague already staying in the same hotel had gone on the other mini-van direct to the hotel.  You’re right she said,  I wanted to take you personally to check you in,  which I thought you would like.

I smiled, thanked her, keeping my thoughts to myself, eventually some one hour later I  departed my transport the last to leave, checked myself into my hotel  after my smiling guide waved me goodbye at the hotel entrance.

Greng jai!

Here’s Andrew’s finally thoughts on the matter(by the way you really should read the full article):

“This is the joy of living in Thailand. You don’t have to be responsible for your actions. You don’t have to aspire to greatness. You just have to be greng jai – of everybody.”

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  • http://thailandlandofsmiles.com Talen

    Mike, Love it. I have had my own experiences of Greng Jai…like the time a t-shirt was bought just for me but I ended up paying for it!

    And like you I was once taxied all around town because my girl told my driver I loved to take pictures…the driver had to show me great places to take pictures like a trash heep and a dead end street…I didn’t have a camera with me!

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Talen, I had quite an interesting conversation with Duen after writing this post although she acknowledges kreng jai she finds it hard to explain(in English) and it seems its not really something she would normally discuss.

      Interestingly she did say one of our neighbours who plays loud music at all hours lacks it…….but of course it would be bad kreng jai to mention this to him.

  • http://www.thaisabai.org Martyn

    Mike that is one bright photo at the top of the post. I’m currently typing this comment with my sunglasses on and there’s a thick layer of snow outside my house. I might copy and print it to save on Christmas tree fairy lights. Excuse any spelling mistakes but it’s hard to see what I’m typing.

    I hate to disagree with Andrew Biggs statement…..“They(Thais) have greng jai, and we don’t. Or so they say.”……

    I think most westerners have a bit of greng jai in them. Most decent folk don’t like to embarrass others. Don’t most of us at times beat around the mulberry bush to avoid hurting another person’s feelings. It’s far easier to say you’ll go to a party and not turn up than to tell someone you’re really not interested. The excuse can come next time you see them.

    I also think greng jai is a little bit thin on the ground when it comes to Thai families. Many times I’ve seen adults tease their siblings about being fat or whatever. Westerners aren’t like that at all. Perhaps I’m misunderstanding greng jai.

    I didn’t realise the medical blog contest was still running, I thought you were all waiting for the results. I’m heading over now to deliver another visitor hit.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Martyn I think Andrew was saying the Thais say foreigners don’t have greng jai. You’re right about Thai families too, Duens younger sister was after money again today ;-)

      Yea the blog contest rolls on, I still have loads of posts to do, your support very much appreciated.

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