My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 2

I’d like to be able to say that my life was a bed of roses as the Qatar Airways flight settled gently onto the long runway at Changi airport in Singapore. But it wasn’t, the sixteen or so hours since I had left the UK had been spent for the most part thinking about the last time I had headed to the Far East, my then travelling companion and what had happened in the five years that had passed since my first visit to Thailand. Of course in 2000 I had been happy, accompanied by Ruth the woman I had fell in love with back in 1999, but now I was travelling alone, heading off for a month exploring Malaysia and Thailand.

It was July 2005, Ruth and I had split some fifteen months before after a long and extremely satisfying relationship.  To be honest I had not wanted the split and had dealt with it really badly, but now, according to my friends anyway, I was getting on with my life and the holiday I was embarking on was evidence of this.  I had mixed emotions, which I didn’t share with them but I was excited about returning to Thailand and at least keeping my vow to do that.

My plan was simple, I would travel independently(by train) after spending a few days in Singapore to Bangkok via Kuala Lumpur and Penang.  I had slight trepidations about this since I had never travelled alone before. So in case I got sick of my own company I had arranged to join a group of like minded people in Bangkok for a guided adventure holiday covering central and northern Thailand.

The holiday was a great success particularly the group tour of Thailand. The enthusiasm of our Thai guide, the immersion in the culture, I really enjoyed it. The seed of an idea planted on my first visit started to germinate, I wanted to come back again, Thailand seemed to have a lot to offer. Perhaps I might live there one day?

However fate, if you believe in that sort of thing, seemed to have other ideas.  If only I hadn’t organised the sarong party for my friends on my return home. Then I wouldn’t have met Anita and perhaps I would have returned to Thailand sooner.  But I did(organise the party) and subsequently met the woman who, at least temporarily, removed the vacancy sign that had been hanging over the personal relations section of my life since Ruth and I had split.

If I were a better person I would have married Anita since she was the most caring and unselfish person I have ever met. But she wasn’t Ruth and deep down I knew the relationship was doomed.  Two years after we met I headed back to Thailand. I had a vague sort of plan  which involved retiring from the rat race in the UK and teaching English in Thailand.  To do this I needed to complete a TEFL course and Thailand was one venue where I could do this. Another month in the land of smiles, a month that found me in Phuket where I met Duen, the one and only Thai woman I have ever had any sort of relationship with.

A holiday fling or the start of a new albeit long distance relationship?  Given here age, she was only five years older than my eldest daughter, I fancied the former.  I certainly wasn’t thinking about returning to be with Duen as I headed back to the UK. However I had enjoyed her company, the course had got my grey matter working and I had  gained a qualification that meant I could, if I chose, teach English in Thailand.

The return flight via the Gulf provided ample time for reflection. I certainly needed it, it felt like I was approaching one of life’s crossroads. I wasn’t wrong as it turned out, but little did I realise just how much and how quickly my life was about to change.

Related posts:

  1. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 1
  2. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 3
  3. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 4
This entry was posted in Expat Diary, Living in Thailand, Visiting Thailand. Bookmark the permalink.
  • Lloyd

    I’m not sure what to say about this chapter, after the drawn out wait I was somewhat bemused, its reads more like American gigolo than musings from a mild mannered retiree.

    “a month that found me in Phuket where I met Duen, the one and only Thai woman I have ever had any sort of relationship with.”

    I would have to say alarm bells are starting to ring in my head after this sentance, the saying “serial monogamist” comes to mind… http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=serial%20monogamist

    Alas I was expecting a twist at the end of the story, I think it may prove to be at the beginning ;-)

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Lloyd, sorry to disappoint but I figured I needed this chapter to bring people up to where I get to Thailand. Serial monogamist? You may well be right, mind you it had been 18 months since Ruth an I split and the reasons for that had nothing to do with MY commitment.

      There is a twist in the tale but it is at the end or is that the beginning ;-)

      • Lloyd

        Not dissapointed Mike, mildy bemused.

        I think for short chapters you need to make it less of a wait ;-)

        • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

          Hi Lloyd, I have less time in the UK ;-)

  • Joe 5555

    Fascinating and absolutely Intriguing as each Chapter progresses ……

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Joe, hopefully it will be a bit more interesting as I get round to my life in Thailand.

  • V F

    As your tale unfolds I find my thoughts shifting from wondering why you felt the need to leave, to wondering how you lasted as long as you did.  Interesting how little we really know about people and how much we assume.  Still looking forward to more.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi VF, yes I think I might have left sooner but I settled for a line of least resistance at the time. Also I perhaps didn’t have a good reason to return.  Hopefully I can get it all down in print and maybe make some sense of it myself.  Thanks for sticking with it.

  • Abdulla Alsebea

    Hi mike

    I am a reader of your blog, Living in my country but enjoying reading others experiences. I really and honestly find your blog (as some others said in their comments) very interesting and easy to read ( for the people with English Language as a second Language). I find your reasons of returning back to the UK very reasonable. Just want to say that i am really enjoying reading what you write, wishing you the best in any road you chose, respecting you more for chosing to take care of your sick old mother and thanking you for sharing your life story with us.

    Waitnig for the rest of the story and wish you never stop writing.

    Abdulla

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Abdullah, firstly welcome to the comment section of the blog.  Thank you for your kind words, very encouraging.

      I am sure most folk given the circumstances would do something similar(looking after my Mum).  Its certainly not easy but I do feel I owe it to her.

      Look forward to hearing from you again.

  • Rod

    Hi Mike.  You seem very familiar with O visa issues and was hoping to gain some insight from you.  Regarding re-entry stamp, I noticed in your writings you refer to getting a re-entry stamp in Thailand before departing Thailand.  Couldn’t I just as well obtain a multiple entry stamp with the original O visa prior to leaving my home country?  Also, if I remain out of Thailand during the visa period for longer than 90 days, how is such a departure handled I wonder in terms of the reporting requirement?  Does the reporting requirement only apply whilst in Thailand? 
    My dilemma is this:  Due to work commitments outside Thailand I will only be staying in Thailand 4 months a year.  This being the case I’m thinking why go through the hassle of a doctor and police clearance letter for the O-A and just get an O and then extend it in Thailand to cover the time beyond 90 days I stay in Thailand.  Is this possible?
    Would like to learn more: mothenza@yahoo.com. Regards, Rod

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Rod I will email you as there are several alternatives.

  • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

    As always you are welcome.  Thanks for stopping by, not sure if its that exciting as a read but its something I feel I need to write.

  • Mike

    Hi Mike

    Thanks for part 2 !

    I am really enjoying it & am glad to have found your blog.

    I see you said you took the TESOL & wondered if you already had a college degree when you started teaching?

    Looking forward to more installments!
    Thanks
    Mike

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Mike, no I didn’t have 1st degree, but I do have Cert Ed.

  • http://www.thaimonkeyforest.wordpress.com isantraveller

    Hi, Mike.  A bit like Lloyd, I kind of wish you’d get a move on with the story. I’m afraid there may be something of the fishwife lurking inside me, though.

    Now that I’m back in Thailand, it does seem odd and somehow a bit empty to know that you are not. So I’m hoping to read more about your time in Thailand, and comparing it with what I was reading when you were here. I mean that I’m expecting a contrast between what you said about your experiences at the time and what you say about them with hindsight. Revelations, that’s what we want. And parallel stories/lives, that’s a good idea.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Lawrence, sorry for late reply, busy looking after my Mum and Internet access from here is via my iPhone. In the next chapter I want to cover what I found in Thailand, how it affected me and what eventually led to my return. Although reading Lloyds latest contribution perhaps I should just leave it ;-)

  • Lloyd

    Sorry Mike but I have given up on you, regardless of what you ever blog or write again I will not be apart of it.

    Fair is fair, people who earn an income, or who have earnt an income, from a public audience thru what is a “serial” or somewhat “continuous” media presence fundimentally owe their audience some respect, for it is thru their audience they receive financial gain.
    You have enjoyed income thru Google AdSense etc through the people who have visited your site, the same people who have offered you advice, assistance and friendship in kind, by visiting your site regurlarly and making comments and clicking on associated links. My wife and I followed your “Thailand Medical Toursism” blog and followed the links and even referred friends from your recommendations.

    Close your blog, their is nothing wrong with that, but just fucking do it, don’t not lie or mislead people to think you will be posting “regularly”, to go from posting 2-3 posts weekly to “strining” out a story for weeks on end, for whatever reason, “you are being an asshole, unprofessional, and showing now respect whatsoever for anyone who has ever bothered to listen to you.

    I’ll put in simple terms, thanks for nothing asshole!!!

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Lloyd I can’t really believe you wrote this comment. I find it personally insulting, however I will publish it since you may of course be right in some of your observations and I never edit comments other than obvious spam. I am sure my other readers are capable of making a judgement on that.

      Just to reiterate and explain my lack of blogging recently(perhaps you missed my comments).

      One of the main reasons I am back in the UK is to take care of my Mum who is suffering from dementia and requires 24/7 care. I am actually staying with her in a carer role. No big deal, millions of other sons and daughters do this, however my location does affect my Internet access since I am blogging via my iPhone, so I am not online as much as when I lived in Thailand. This means blogging has had to take a back seat at the moment, I certainly have not intended to string anything out.

      As for the bit about earning from blogging particularly ADSENSE well as I am sure you are aware the majority of clicks come from “searchers” not regular correspondents like yourself.

      Yes I did win the medical blog contest and expressed my appreciation at the time for all the support offered. However I won the BEST CONTENT prize which was judged by independent judges and had nothing to do with hits etc, they actually liked what I wrote.

  • http://www.thaisabai.org Martyn

    Mike – I’m enjoying the series so far. You put the bait onto the fishing line in Chapter One and you’ve cast your line in Chapter Two. I’m hooked, although I do wish you’d added into your opening chapter that the chap you and Ruth were sat next to on your flight back to the UK was named Rendall…..I like Ruth Rendall Mysteries.

    May I ask if this Thailand-Epilogue is a compressed version of a book you are writing.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Martyn, no novel mate, just some musings from yours truly, which reminds me better get on with the next chapter.  Hope your holiday was good and you avoided the floods.