My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 4

As the London bound Qatar Airways flight thundered down the runway at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok on 16th January 2009 I slipped into my usual reflective mood to help pass away the long flight via the Gulf.

It had, I reflected, been an interesting year since I first arrived to live in Thailand. A year in which I had learned quite a few things about my adopted country and its people. What I had discovered had somewhat tarnished my view on Thailand and the Thai culture. Don’t get me wrong, it had been an enjoyable year, but I was starting to discover that you needed to look beyond the Thai smile, never accepting things at face value and being prepared to be cheated or at the very least overcharged for goods and services.

Thailand was certainly not proving to be the land flowing with milk and honey that I had perhaps thought it was when viewing it through the rosy tinted glasses of a tourist in the eight years leading up to becoming an expatriate. No the brutal truth that was beginning to dawn was that Thailand could best be described as a developing country, riddled with corruption and bureaucracy, where foreigners were tolerated rather than welcomed and seen as an easy source of make a quick buck.

Several things had helped me formulate these opinions. Dealing with the Doctor over the bungalow had not been straightforward and he had failed to fulfil all his obligations, while Duen was unhappy that I had leased the land the house stood on rather than opting to buy it and register it in her name. Something that was to rear its head on more than one occasion over the next few years. Albeit that it was my money that was paying for everything. Jumping through the various hoops that Thai Immigration juggled when it came to getting a retirement extension to my O visa was also a pain, but worth the effort I reasoned given the other option of doing a border run every 90 days. Why was it though that different officers had different rules and that “fees” varied so much?

Getting work done by the local “tradesmen” was also a mine field and a source of angst, had I been able to speak Thai I would have loved to have told some of these cowboys that I was not freshly landed off a banana boat, but I guess my efforts would have been met with a quizzical smile or a knowing look given the abundance of that particular fruit in Thailand.

Funnily enough despite these irritations the thing I had missed most during my first year away from the UK had been having a decent conversation in English. Duen spoke reasonable English, I spoke a few words of Thai, but it was impossible to discuss things in depth. There were few English speakers in Prachuap and expats tended to be from Norway, Sweden or Germany. Although I seldom saw foreigners.

I suppose I had become quite isolated and certainly felt lonely on occasions despite the ability to speak on the Internet to the folks back home.  I also still felt slightly uncomfortable when Thais openly pointed at me and said “farang.” Quite why they needed to do this was really beyond me since they knew I was a foreigner and so did I and I certainly didn’t remotely resemble even the most Western looking Thai.

I had read that expatriates go through various phases after what you might call the honeymoon period but as I stood in the immigration queue at Heathrow for the life of me I couldn’t remember the former. Perhaps I am being a little unfair,  after all Thailand still had a lot to offer, nice weather, great food and some fantastic scenery and sights, it certainly wasn’t all bad. I had a home there too for a fraction of the price I would have paid in the UK. I think its fair to say that my love affair with Thailand continued even if it was just ever so slightly starting to get tarnished.

Anyway I was home, in the middle of the Northern Hemisphere winter, time for a few belated Christmas celebrations, a trip to the football and as it transpired a dinner date with a lady I hadn’t seen for five years.

Related posts:

  1. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 3
  2. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 1
  3. My Love Affair with Thailand-Epilogue-Chapter 2
This entry was posted in Expat Diary, Living in Thailand, Visiting Thailand. Bookmark the permalink.
  • http://thaiconnoisseur.blogspot.com Peter_M

    Mike, fascinating read.  I was not planning on commenting till the end of the series but, as that could be a long time :-) , I thought I would drop in an intermediate encouraging word to say thanks for posting your experiences and I look forward to hearing the rest.  

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Peter, thanks for the encouragement, just a few thoughts from me about my 3.5 years in the LOS. Not sure its that good a read but at least its cathartic.

  • V F

    Being a longtime resident, I can’t count the number people I have watched go through the various phases of adjusting to Thailand.  I have learned there is little I can do to shorten their journey of enlightenment.  More often than not they won’t listen and think I am daft, as they always know better.

    As I said before, I am almost surprised you lasted as long as you did.  You made great strides in your time here but I am not sure you were ever meant to be an expat in Thailand.  I am sure your time was not waisted, however, and that you have a greater self-awareness and understanding of others due to your experience here.

    Your new blog seems to fit you.  It is a bit safe and wikipedia-like for my taste but I am sure you will make a success of it as it becomes a source of valuable information for your target market.

    While many men come to Thailand and find they can never go home, you may well be one of those who return home with a new appreciation of the things you once thought of leaving behind.  I am just guessing here, but perhaps Thailand has helped you focus your attention on the things that really matter to you, while filtering out the extraneous noise of the broader social and political environment.

    Good luck with this new phase of your life.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      VF, I have really appreciated your comments on this series of articles. Some very astute observations in my opinion. I do believe that my stay in Thailand was useful(and mostly enjoyable), it has also as you say helped me focus on things that need addressing back here.

      I certainly value things quite differently.

      Slipping back into UK society has not been difficult although looking after an ageing and mentally deteriorating parent was not something I ever saw myself doing.

      A different focus for sure!

      As for the blogging, well we will have to see as I don’t have the same enthusiasm(or time) as I did in Thailand, I need to find the right type of blog to exercise my grey matter through writing. The current offering is linked to an idea I have for a small commercial venture aimed at new UK citizens. This sounded good when I was planning it but is proving more of a challenge than I imagined.

  • daniel

    It seems that you were caught between a rock and hard place, Mike. Not wanting to park yourself in the mini-Britain parts of Bangkok or Pattaya you chose a place a world away from that. But that place was perhaps just a little too far too soon.

    The remoteness and solitude was a little too extreme. I live in similar circumstances to what you did but I have my wife. Unable to really master this language, (or even get a grip on it), I am also isolated, but I have my work and my writing and, most important of all, I have my wife who is both my buffer from the bits of Thailand that grate and the bridge to the bits of Thailand (the majority) that I like. So I have the best of both worlds, my solitude, but also people (Thais) who I can communicate with (just) when I wish.

    One other thing that I do that you didn’t is travel. I don’t bother with the yearly visas and do a 3 month visa renewal in Singapore. It gives me a break away with friends and ex-colleagues, in a place a know well who speak a language I know, (and avoids one more bueaucratic encounter).

    Please keep going with the circumspection. It allows me to examine my life here too.

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Dan thanks for the thoughtful input. I believe you are spot on in your assessment.  I have been reading your diary with interest recently and I certainly understand where you are coming from.

      I think having Ploy is a big bonus for you, mind you you are made of sterner stuff than me.

  • http://twitter.com/NoodlesoupLotus J P

    Great posts Mike…..

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      JP many thanks.

  • Anonymous

    New here – simply wanted to comment that we have enjoyed reading your thoughtful series on the pros and cons of living in Thailand. With regards to adjusting to life in Thailand, learning to speak and write Thai (while very difficult) has been key for all of our foreign staff living here, for the express reason  you mention. Life without conversation is terribly lonely!

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      TLF, thanks, I totally agree with you. To be honest I personally lacked the motivation to learn Thai properly.

  • http://twitter.com/ray_malcolm Ray Malcolm

    Really enjoying this. It reads well and I can relate to so much of what you’re saying. There are times when I would like to just pack up everything and go home. But the truth is, I really don’t have that much to go back to. Plus, I’m married and have a child now; that kind of anchors me down here a little.

    I’m looking forward to part 5

    • http://www.thailand-blogs.com Mike

      Hi Ray, thanks for stopping by and your kind comment.  Had circumstances been different then I might well have stayed.  That said I have some family duties here.  Don’t think I will ever go back now, despite the problems here(economic) there are too many pluses. Sure I miss some aspects of life in LOS but at least here I know things work and generally speaking no one is out to cheat me.